Low Key Terrified
I was in Vegas with some coworkers prepping for the SuperBowl talking about the time my friends and I rode the old roller coaster that went over the edge of the stratosphere and how terrified I was to do it. My boss at the time asked if I always gave into peer pressure like that.
I looked at him and said, “No, but I don’t think fear is a good enough reason not to do something.”
Why do I bring this up? Because I recently spent time at New River Gorge National Park in West Virginia doing things that terrified me. But they also turned out to be a lot of fun.
First Up: The Rapids
The first time I did this I went with friends and said the only way I was getting in the boat was if it was more like a float trip. They acquiesced and we had a nice gentle float down the upper Colorado river, with what turned out to be the back up band for Easton Corbin (true story).
Over the years I’ve gotten braver and have embarked on more river trips, and while they have all been exhilarating, that back current of fear is always lurking beneath the surface.
This was my headspace when I wake up Friday morning at my campsite, the base station for Cantrell’s Ultimate Rafting. “I can do this,” I think. “I literally picked this place just to do this.” And the age old, “It’s fine, everything’s fine, it’s going to be fine.”
And, not only was it fine - it was amazing. Cantrell’s is family owned and this family grew up on this river. Our guide, Adam, had been rafting this river since he was a toddler. He got us through several class IV rapids with ease, that I actually forgot to be afraid and just had a blast. Between the adrenaline of the rapids and the stunning scenery, it was the best rafting trip of my life. I’m already checking the calendar to see when I can return for the fall season.
Day 2: The Bridge
What other fears do I need to test on this trip? I’m terrified of heights. Like literally I’ve been on trails and taken actual minutes to convince my legs to move because of the drop off I’m hiking next to. So, naturally, I signed up for a tour to walk across the narrow catwalk beneath the New River Gorge Bridge—the third-highest bridge in the U.S.
Seriously, it took me 30 minutes to hit the purchase button after I had the tour in my cart. When I woke up that morning, I almost called to cancel. But I didn’t.
I booked the tour for the same time as someone I’d met the day before rafting and talking to her leading up getting on the bridge helped keep me distracted from my fear. I’ve learned that if I can focus on literally anything other than the thing freaking me out, I can keep the panic at bay.
As we clipped our carabiners onto the cable to keep us safe on the walk, my brain screamed, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” Only there may have been an “F” bomb in there somewhere. This was my only moment of panic and it lasted a second.
I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to look down as we walked, fearing the extreme vertigo that often accompanies heights for me. But I could and the vertigo never made an appearance.
When we got to the middle of the bridge our tour guide said we were going to do something fun. He made us sit down on the bridge. I was terrified, but again only for about a second. I sat down and enjoyed the view. I took pictures, I talked to the people around me. I was not afraid.
I am so thankful I had both of these experiences. There’s nothing wrong with being afraid. It’s only a problem if you let fear guide all of your decisions. Jumping out of your comfort zone makes you stronger.
And this is an important lesson for me to relearn right now. When I get back to Denver at the end of the month, I plan to pack up my house, put everything in storage and rent my house out. I don’t know where I’m going to call home base. Not because I don’t have options, but all of those options are dependent on other people and all come with upsides and downsides. So in a different way, I’m about to jump pretty far outside my comfort zone.
Post Script: Both of my experiences at New River Gorge were made better by the guides that led them. Adam at Cantrell’s and Larry at the Bridge Walk. Both were local to the area and talked so much about how they did these things as kids, without all of the safety precautions we take today. I’ve provided links to both of these businesses because of the experience I had on these trips. (I didn’t get anything for this and they don’t know anything about this blog).
Cantrell’s Ultimate Rafting: https://cantrellultimaterafting.com/
The Bridge Walk: https://bridgewalk.com/